Kids can put a crimp in the romantic portion of our lives.  As mothers and wives, we lose the second in favor of the first.  But, any expert will tell you that romance is a key ingredient to a successful marriage.  Sometimes it takes us really focusing to be sure the hugs and kisses don?t stop with motherhood.

As women, we are a complicated breed.  Maybe that adds to the mystery, but not if it makes it harder for us to figure out ourselves.  In general, our emotions are tied to our sense of romance.  When we feel tired or taken for granted by our spouse, romance becomes the last thing in the world we want to pursue.

When we are dating or just after the wedding, everything is great.  We enjoy the company of our spouse and even have sex several times a week.  Life couldn?t be better, right?

Love is hard work.  Granted, when we have children, they carry away our focus with their twinkling eyes and button noses.  For a time, romance is suspended, but that is to be expected.  The problem comes in when the persona of ?mom? overtakes that of ?wife? and ?lover.?  Instead of continuing those roles, we instead give our husbands another mother.

I hear stories on talk shows all the time about couples that wake up after thirty years of marriage to find they are lying next to a stranger.  It doesn?t happen overnight I assure you.  It takes time to grow away from your spouse.  Unfortunately, we just don?t realize it?s happening until we wake up that morning.

The marriage is the center of the entire family?s relationship.  There was husband and wife before there was mother and father.  Mom, getting back to the beginning is important.  Kids will grow up and it will be back to you and your mate.  It?s easier to handle what goes on outside of the home in our daily lives when there is a great person waiting at home who understands us.

When the kids tire us out, we can relax with our spouse.  As two halves of a whole, we complete each other.  With the kids, it seems like we are nothing more than a driver for hire or the maid.  We wouldn?t mind the maid so much if we felt the love and appreciation from our spouse.  Romance is a big part of that feeling.

Romance is more than sex.  In addition to the visual of a maid, some women feel that all they are is a vehicle for sex.  Romance involves talking, cuddling, kissing, and more. 

Lack of touch and acknowledgment by a spouse is the underlying cause of a lot of marriage breakups.  The reason that couples? give for an impending divorce may be irreconcilable differences on paper, but it started with a break in the flow between the husband and the wife.  Not taking the time to grow together as the years go by is a mistake that can be rectified with some work. 

Without romantic gestures, moms lose the woman inside of them.  Life is about balance.  That balance shifts a little when kids come along, but it doesn?t have to stay that way.